Popular!
by Taylor Ruggiero
Summary: Update: Won three nominations: Best Mary-Sue, Funniest and Parody from NYNA 2010 Winter Competition!...Susan is a beautiful girl newsie with an even more appealing body...everyone loves her...what will it take for her to realize its the exact opposite
1. Oh poor me!

Chapter 1: Oh poor me!!!!!

Warning: I don't own newsies only thing I own is this story and Susan

Hello, I'm Susan Riley Addams. I am sixteen, long blonde hair with sparkling blue grey eyes! I am tall for my long legs. I can't help but brag, I am BEAUTIFUL! I live in Manhattan New York, my parents were killed in a murder scene so I live with the newsies! I am the only girl newsie in the lodging house and everyone loves me. I can't help it, god created something wonderful. Before I was a newsie, I lived with a horrible uncle who raped me every night and beat me every morning. Long after that, the bulls found my uncle and locked him up, sending me to a refuge. The same one Jack Kelly resigned in! We became great friends and when he was escaping, he wanted to bring me along! So...here I am....sweet....innocent.....beautiful......everyone loves me. Since I'm so interesting, I know you want to read on in my dramatic life full of adventure, romance and mystery.

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I awoke with the sound of my dearest newsies singing carrying the banner. Oh joy! I jumped up from my bunk in the corner, far away from the others and put my cap on. I was already dressed for I got up early just to watch the newsies sleep. I noticed Jack leaving, putting his black cowboy cat on his chocolate brown hair. I smiled bright and wide.

I shouted in my fancy shrill voice, "Jaccckkkkkkkkk! Wait up!"

I saw Jack freeze where he was, his shoulders slumped and he let out a annoyed sigh. Grumpy this morning! I ran after him, not noticing the rag that was laying on the middle of the floor. I slipped across the floor landing in a closet, buckets and brooms falling out in the process. OHhhhh!!! I'm such a clutz!

I weakly got up, "Ugh...poor me! Jack I slipped!"

Jack just stared at me, "."

I was at his side in less than a minute, "What's wrong best friend?"

He rolled his eyes, "For da LAST time, Ise not youse best friend!"

"But what about the night you took me away from the refuge?!"

He growled, "Youse followed me out!" With that he joined the rest of the boys outside, who were singing happily, heading to the gates. Jack sometimes is grumpy in the morning, no worries, he'll come say sorry before lunch!

I flipped my hair to the side before skipping out of the lodging house barely catching up to the newsies. They never wait for me! But I know they love me! It's just hard for them because I'm a girl and they have raging desires! I skipped past the gates, last in line. I noticed the Delancey brothers walking toward us. I smiled sweetly at them as they walked by, I believe to be nice to everyone. No matter how mean they are!

I twirled my hair, "Hi Oscar, Morris."

They stared at me, Oscar shot, "Ew....go away you shank."

I laughed throwing my head back, "I love you guys too!"

They ran into the building, but not before shooting me death glares as the door slammed shut. They just aren't used to someone so amazing talking to them. I pity them, no one likes them. But I don't know how they feel cause everyone loves me. Finally, I was up at the counter.

"100 papes Weasel!" I slammed my money down like the tough girl I am.

Weasel snorted, "Right....someone ugly as you can really get the attention." He gave me the papes and turned away not even bidding me a farewell. Well....that was rude! But of course I can sell these papers because I AM attention grabbing. Putting back my trademark smile and skipped out of the gates yelling out a made up headline.

A few hours later........

I threw my cap on the ground, kicking it. Ugh! What a day! NO ONE would buy any papes! My headlines were amazing! But every time a person who come to me they would take one look at my face and run away screaming. Do I really look an angel! It's already the afternoon and I'm the only newsie who didn't finish selling their papes. Now I have to eat them! Why is life so sucky on me sometimes! But I'm beautiful... it always works out for me. I sat down on the curb and started ripping the papers, might as well start now. Just then, i heard a tap tap of a cane on the side walk. OhhhHH! I know who THAT is! My boyfriend! Spot Conlon!

I shot up, grinning from ear to ear. Aw....thats so sweet! He came to see ME! I ran over as we came closer.

"Spot! I MISSED YOU!"

Spot pushed me off him roughly, "Not youse again!"

He started to walk in the other direction, oh he's playing hard to get again! I ran away him, tackling him to the ground. I pined him to the side walk and let out a BIG wet one on him. It only lasted a few seconds though because Spot threw me off of him and grabbed his cane.

"WHAT WILL IT TAKE FORE YA TO LEAVE ME ALONE!!!!!"

I started to sob, he's being stubborn again, "Spot, I love you! And you love me! Why are you being like this?!"

Spot just glared and he smacked his cane against the brick wall angrily and started to fast walk away. I got up and brushed myself off, Spot is always like this, thinking he needs to keep his rep so he doesn't show any public display of affection. No one knows about our relationship, but I know I am in his heart! He loves me more than Brooklyn! Taking out my wooden brush from my pocket I started to fix my hair. Once I was happy, I bounced off in the other direction. LUNCH TIME WITH THE BOYS!!!!!!

A/N: ahahahahahahahahaha I was basically laughing the whole time I wrote this first chapter. I was going to have Spot hit her with the cane but I really didn't want to make Spot so harsh on girls....even annoying ones like Susan. Please review!!!!!!!


	2. Eventful Lunch Hour

Chapter 2: Eventful Lunch Hour

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The door jiggled as I threw the door open, revealing my lovable newsies seated out our usual tables. Before I could let out my ray of bright teeth, Skittery saw me. He lifted the menu up to his face and hid, sinking into the small wooden chair. Oh he's just shy! I bounced over and seated myself next to David. The chatter of papes and food was silenced. All eyes were on me. Can I blame them?

I greeted, "Hiya newsies!"

David inched away from me whispering, "Why is she sitting next to me?.."

Race replied, "If we'se are still she'll go away."

Jack rolled his eyes, "Trust me, Ise tried everything in da book. There's no gettin' rid of her."

Skittery slid back up into his seat his hands to his eyes, "She's so ugly......it's blinding me!!!!!!!!" He jumped from the table and ran out of Tibby's screaming "Monster!' at the top of his lungs. Hahahaa, they're so funny! They always do this when I come. It's a really good joke.

I grabbed the menu from Bumlets, "What's good on here?"

Race shot back, "Everything until youse came in, youse STINK!"

Oh it seems like he noticed my new perfume that I STOLE from the flower shop down the corner. I'm so bad. The waiter came out with more drinks, he placed them on the table and looked down at me.

He said in a snotty voice, "I'm sorry boys, but dogs aren't allowed at the table...."

Dog? I don't see a dog? He needs to get his eyes checked. I raised my voice, "Excuse me! I'm ready to order!"

He tapped his chin, "It talks? Looks like you trained it very well...." With that he left. WELL. What kind of service is this? I want to get food and I'll get it now.

I got up, "I'll be back newsies." They shot each other looks of 'lets get out of here while we still can' but they're just kidding! I marched up to the counter and rang the bell annoying until someone came to my need.

Another waiter asked, "May I help you?"

"YES" I shouted in his face.

He coughed violent;y, "Would you like a breath mint dear?"

I ignored him and stood on a chair, towering over him, "I AM READY TO ORDER. SO SOMEONE PAY FREAKING ATTENTION TO ME!!!!!"

The waiter hesitated, "Um..miss please do not cause a scene!"

"NO, I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR FOOD AND I'M GOING TO GET IT! I WILL NOT BE DEINED!!!!!!!"

A waitress appeared at the waiter's side and whispered in his ear, "Want me to hose her out of here?"

He nodded quickly, before rushing under the counter, taking cover. What's going on? Are they getting my food or not? I should go tell the governor about this bad service. A loud voice echoed in the whole shop, "Please leave or we will have to force you out!"

Was he talking to ME? Excuse me, he doesn't know who I am. The amazing Susan....I'll show him. I ran over to him and punched the guy right in the jaw. He didn't even move.

"Um...anyway, leave or be forced."

I shouted in my dramatic show star voice, "FORCED!"

"Okay...suit yourself...."

Before I knew it, jets of water were being shot at me, soaking me completely from head to foot. I tried to run away but I slipped on the amount of water on the floor.

I screamed, "Newsies help me!!!"

They were cheering and chanting. I really don't think this is the time to be all funny! The waiter who I first met came out with a HUGE orange hose that is connected to the sink.

He shouted, "OUT DOG!!!!'

The rays of strong water hit me hard, making me slide out the door and into the street. People who passed by stared down at me with disgust.

Yes I know, an angel shouldn't be treated like this!!!!!! I kept falling into I hit a bench. OW MY KNEE! OH POOR ME!!!!!!!!!

I put my hand on my forehead, "Oh please help!"

Spot rounded the corner with a slutty looking good on his arm. Here's my chance. I shouted, "SPOT HELP ME!!!!!"

His eyes were wide as he saw the mess I was in. He's going to help me! Wait...he's laughing! The girl on his arm stared at me in alarm.

The girl said, "It's a furry monster!!!!!!" She grabbed a broom from the bakery shop and charged toward me, "Youse shall not harm anyone youse BEAST!"

I screamed and got up running away from the crazy girl with the broom. What is with people these days? Are they really all THAT jealous of me? As I was being chased around central park by the slut with the broom, Denton was sitting on a bench reading today's newspaper. He saw me and shouted, "THERE'S THE MONSTER! MUST TAKE PICTURES FOR STORY!" He grabbed his camera, snap, snap. Aw he's going to put me on front page, my life story.

As I rounded the corner into an alley way I screamed, "I'LL DO THAT INTERVIEW LATER DENTON!!!!"

A/N: Yes. This is what happens when I'm bored. Now as I said in the summary, this story isn't meant to offend anyone. I'm just expressing my hate for Mary Sues. Please review!! Cause I haven't got any yet! D: Whoever reviews gets to have Spot's cane! Cause....I stole it :D


	3. Fight! Oh dear!

Chapter 3: Fight! Oh dear!

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I rounded the corner to the alley, finally getting rid of that man stealing slut! I don't understand how Spot could so that to ME?! Amazing.....SUPERMODEL ME! He really must have some issues. I'll take care of them later. I continued to walk down the alley, without a care in the world. I mean, come on. No one would dare mess with me! I whistled along, skipping over dead rats and mice. I'm no girly girl! Suddenly, I was slammed against the wall. OH no! RAPE! I got a look at my attacker: a boy with long brown hair, a scar on his eyelid and bright green eyes.

I shouted in his face, "WHAT THE HELL DO YOU WANT?"

The boy just gripped my neck tighter making me gag, "What do you think I want, dumbass? I capture you in an alley way. Figure it out."

I flashed my beautiful smile, "Sorry, NO AUTOGRAPHS WITHOUT THE MONEY!"

My attacker's eyes narrowed and he slapped me across the face, watching me crumple against the wall, "Don't back sash me girl, either you do what I want, or you're dead. But...with those looks...I really don't think anyone would care."

With tears in my eyes I got back on my legs and challenged, "YOU DON'T KNOW ME. As a matter of fact, there are people who would miss me when I'm gone!"

He rolled his eyes, "Yeah whatever. Now..."

I shouted again, "YOU WILL NOT RAPE ME SIR!" With that I kicked him in his man hood and tried to get away. What is this guy made of steel? He didn't even wince! My attacker punched me in the gut making me fall backwards.

"You missed bitch."

He grabbed my feet and dragged me further into the darkness. I tried to escape yet again, but it was no use. Someone as beautiful as me shouldn't be man handled like this so I shouted, "HELPPPPP!!!! JACK, RACETRACK, SPOT!!!!! SOMEONE HELP ME!!!"

As if God answered my prayers, a figure appeared in the front of the alley. I reached out my hand as my attacker continued dragging me, "Please help me!"

The figure came closer and stopped. It shivered a bit and gasped, "What the hell is that thing?!"

He must be talking about my attacker, yes he is ugly and strong but he will not win! The heroic figure will save me!!!!!!!!!! I smiled a bit, knowing I was going to be okay.

The figure fell back and pointed at me, "Man, you'se got to kill that thing!!!"

My attacker stopped and replied, "I know, now please just kindly leave and I will."

The figure nodded, shook my attacker by the hand, took one look at me and ran in the other direction. Oh, he's just probably going to find someone big and more strong to fight off this evil doer! We stopped at a dead end, my attacker kept my face to the muddy ground while he searched my pockets.

I mumbled into the mud, "NO! I do NOT have a condom!"

My attacker replied, "Like I'd want to rape a creature like you...."

My response was to start freaking out like a little child without it's toy. My attacker got angry again and decided to sit on my head. HOW RUDE! Where is my big strong man to save me? Oh right! He's off fucking that slut. I'll make him feel sorry by crying to him!

I asked, "If you are not going to rape me, then what do you want from me?"

My attacker got off me and pushed me against the wall again, "To tell you the truth nothing."

I cocked my head to the side, "Oh....well then were you stalking me? YOU ARE IN LOVE WITH ME!"

My attacker rolled his eyes and mumbled under his breath, "For fucks sake..."

I asked loudly, "What is your name handsome stalker?" I'm really really good at flirting!

My attacker shot back, "Joe."

"Oh that's sexy....." Maybe if I cheat on Spot with Joe, he'll come running back like a puppy with its tail between its legs.....

Joe rolled his eyes once more, "The only reason I did this was cause the newises paid me. Attack you, keep you busy until they could go into the lodging house and lock everything so YOU can't get in."

I bounced up excited, "OH IS THIS A GAME! I love games!"

Joe just stared at me, "Crazy bitch..." With that he ran out as fast as he could. I chased after him until my feet couldn't no more.

I screamed after him, "WAIT YOU NEVER TOLD ME THE RULES TO THE GAME!!!!!"

Joe was out of view, so I sat on the curb with my chin in my hands....oh I KNOW! THE NEWSIES ARE DISTRACTING ME WITH THIS GAME BECAUSE SOON IT WILL BE MY BIRTHDAY AND THEY ARE PLANNING A PARTY!!!! AND THAT SLUT ON SPOT'S ARM WASN'T HIS CHEATING BUDDY BUT JUST THE COOK! It all makes sense now!!!!!! THEY MUST LOVE ME SO MUCH!!!!!!!

A/N: _Hahaha.....party....yeah that's what they are planning..........please review!!!!!! whoever reviews next gets to guest star in the next chapter....All I need is your name and what you want to look like.....muahahaha. _


	4. Game of Scream and Hide

Chapter 4: Game of Scream and Hide

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I ran all the way back to the lodging house and banged on the door with my fists, "Oh newsies, please let me in!"

I heard screams erupt them the inside and footsteps racing back and forth. Oh, they are just probably freaking out that I figured out their secret and being so bad I'm going to ruin it! I'm just so smart, they can't take it!!!!!! I kneeled down and looked carefully in the keyhole. Inside I saw everyone running around with boxes and chairs. The boxes must be filled with the party things and the chairs are for all my guests they are going to invite! How exciting! I glanced up at the window above me, I'm going to sneak in and surprise them! I climbed up the ladder that is on the side of the lodging house and started going up.

I tried to lift the heavy window, "Curses! It's locked!"

I went to the next window and it was locked too! They are the clever bunch aren't they? Wait...I forgot! This is a game! So they locked everything up because it was a part of the GAME! I just need to figure out how to get in. Just then, I noticed a shadowy figure appear in the bunk room. It was Crutchy! I banged on the window to get his attention. Once he heard my cry for help, his head snapped to the window and our eyes locked. He opened something that looked like: crap.

I shouted as loud as I could for him to hear me, "OPEN THE DOOR! I PROMISE I WON'T TELL THEM YOU HELPED ME!!!"

Crutchy just started backing away as quickly as his crutch could take him. Oh, I see......if any of the newsies should help me they would be put to their deaths! This game is getting intense! But no problem! I pushed away from the window and looked up to the roof, I think there is a small escape door there somewhere.... I jabbed my foot into a hole in the brick building and hoisted myself up. Almost there.......

"BARK, BARK BARK!"

I shouted in surprise and let go of the building and fell on the escape ladder. I gripped onto the first peg and looked down. A HUGE DOG was circling below, waiting for me to fall. LIKE THAT WOULD HAPPEN! I'm physically strong, I can soak anybody, anytime! I tried to climb the wall again, and this time I made it to the other side. My eyes lit up with glee when I saw the small escape door on the middle of the roof. I hurried over and checked to see if it was locked. BINGO! Laughing my shrill beautiful laugh, I opened up the door and lowered myself in. Shutting the door above me, I noticed I was in the rafters. All I had to do was walk on them and find a way down!

Below me I heard Jack's voice, "Just calm down, if we'se are quiet, she'll think we'se left and will go off ta find us!"

Les pulled on Jack's hand asking, "Are we going to die Cowboy?"

Race patted Les on the head and answered for Jack, "Nah, kid. Dat dog should have held her off."

David raised his voice, "I say we call the police!"

Skittery rolled his eyes pushing himself away from the wall he was leaning on, "Oh? And what will dat do?"

David answered matter of factly, "They'll find her and think she's some sort of creature and kill her."

Mush joined in from the distance, "As long as it will keep her away from my bed at night!!!!!"

I sat on a rafter, looking down at the boys. They must know I'm here or they wouldn't be striking that fake conversation. I must be more fast and sneaky! I crawled onto another rafter, it shook a big. This thing better not fall! It would ruin my angel kissed face! Besides, I'm as light as a feather, this thing has just been used to much. I carefully grabbed onto the rope that was dangling on one of the rafters. I KNOW! I'll just tie this to one of the rafters and then climb down, no one will see me! I tied the rope in a tight knot and climbed down, looking up and down. I neared the newsies who were pushing chairs and tables to all the exits and boarding up the windows. Time to make MY appearance! They will be so impressed!

I shouted down below, "HELLO NEWSIES!"

They all looked up with horrified looks on their faces, Kid Blink screamed and tried to unnail the boards on the windows, Mush hid under the table holding a lit candle, Skittery and Jack threw all the things away from the front door and began unlocking all the locks. This however, wasn't done quietly, screams and shouts filled the room as I landed on the hard wooden floor.

I grabbed onto Les's collar and hugged him, "You are just SO CUTE!"

Les started to cry and shouted for his big brother's help. I know, I know. It's so amazing that you are hugging such an amazing person. David charged over with a lamp and hit me over the head with it. I let go of Les and watched him, David and the rest of the newsies storm out of the building like it was on fire. I slid to the floor, clutching my head. A bump started to form. They just did that to distract me so they could hide out in Irving hall to finish setting up my birthday party! Wiping the blood off my hand I skipped out of the lodging house, people staring at me like I just came back to life. I spotted Spot [haha] sitting on the bench with the cook on his arm. I smiled wide and ran over,

"Hello cook! Did you finish making my birthday cake?"

The cook just stared at me, "Um...Spot...did that thing just SPEAK to me?"

Spot glared at me but turned his attention to the cook, "Just ignore her Maggie."

I stepped forward and got between their little embrace, "I WILL NOT BE IGNORED! Now cook, I don't mean to be rude, but you are hired to do a job which is cook my birthday meal and cake. If you're not doing it I'll be forced to fire you!"

The cook Maggie pushed me away and shouted, "Listen you little bitch! Are you INSANE?! I'M NOT A COOK AND I AM CERTAINLY NOT WORKING FOR A DOG LIKE YOU!"

I started to sob and grabbed onto Spot's hand, "Honey, how can you just let that mean cook treat me like that?"

Spot pushed me off as well and stood up with the cook Maggie, "Fore da last time, Ise not you'se boyfriend! You'se as ugly as shit and you'se footsteps are like a fucking truck! NOW JUST GO AWAY!!!!"

Instead of getting even more upset, I just looked up, my eyes sparkling, "It's okay Spot, I know you don't like people to know our relationship, but someday everyone will know. And as for you cook Maggie, I'll give you a second chance, now remember my favorite meal is steak and corn and I want my cake chocolate! Thank you!"

With that I marched away, hearing the cook Maggie's yells and Spot's sighs of annoyance. I wonder what Spot is going to get me for my birthday! Maybe it'll be that bracelet I saw in the shop two weeks ago! Oh I hope so! Because I need the best, since I am the best! I've been through SO much over the years, I NEED to be treated like QUEEN! I noticed Denton walking towards Tibby's. OH! In the meanwhile, I'll just do the interview he offered me!

I shouted after Denton, "DENTON! I'M READY FOR MY LIFE STORY NOW!!!!"

I gripped onto his arm tightly and went into Tibby's, but was then kicked out. The waiter saw me walk in and he shouted, "It's returned!" I smiled at Denton as they closed the doors, looking at us through the windows.

"No matter! We can just do the interview back at the lodging house!"

I dragged Denton to the direction of the lodging house, he was trying his best to get away, "Please! Not this! I'll get you an ice cream or something! But NOT THIS!!!"

I smiled and replied back to Denton as we neared the lodging house, "Don't worry Denton, you don't have to be afraid, I promise I'll try not to dazzle you with my personality!"

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All around New York City, you can hear the cries of a grown man shouting, "I'LL GIVEEEEEEEE YOU AN ICEEEEEEEEEEEEE CREAMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!"

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Irving Hall:

Jack cocked his head to the side listening to Denton's cries for help, "Hey Davey, is dat Denton?"

David looked up and listened closely, "It can't be."

Jack nodded in agreement, "I'se thought so too. Must be hearin' things."

A/N: I'm pretty sure this chapter explains itself pretty well. Please review!!!


	5. Call up the press!

Chapter 5: Call up the press!

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I pushed the frightened Denton into a chair, I sat across from him, "Okay, Denton. Where should I start?"

Denton gulped and loosened his tie, "I really wasn't planning to interview at all really...."

I cut him off, slapping him on the shoulder hard, playfully, "Oh come on! I know you were, now you're just getting cold feet cause I'm breath taking."

Denton slid into his chair a bit, his eyes as wide as golf balls, "Please...must I go? I have another story to write..."

He tried to get up, but I pushed him back down with all the force I could muster up, "NO! YOU WILL DO MY INTERVIEW BEFORE YOU DO ANYTHING ELSE!"

Denton looked like he was going to wet his pants. I settled back down, my dazzling smile growing on my flawless skin, "Now.....what's the first question?"

He replied wiping the sweat off his forehead, "Okay...um...what's your favorite color?"

I replied excited, "I have many favorite colors actually, my first one is purple, second is blue, third one is lime green, forth one is pink, fifth one is white, sixth one is----WHY AREN'T YOU WRITING THIS DOWN?"

Denton shot up and started writing alarmed, "Right....right...... first one is blue, second one is lime green, third one is purple, forth one is white, fifth one is pink and sixth one is WHY AREN'T YOU WRITING THIS DOWN!"

I shook my head smiling, he is just TOO nervous, but I'll let it go. I continued, "Okay, second question!"

"What do you like to do in your free time?"

I answered while twirling the ends of my hair, "Well, I like to hang out with the newsies, and talk to my boyfriend Spot Conlon. I also like to sing and dance and soak bad guys and tell my sad story to people so they would feel bad for me which they should. I sing at Medda's but whenever I go up they shoo me off, my singing is too great for them. I'm even better than Medda! She is so jealous!"

Denton wrote what I said down, I took a peek and it all was just scribbles. If that really works for him and as long as I see my story on the front page then he can keep doing that!

I said, "Okay, next question!"

Denton hesitated before saying, "I really must leave, the interview was great, you're story will be in the newspaper tomorrow. Just let me take a picture--."

I stopped him, "But what about my life story? How my parents died, and I was sent to Jack Kelly's refuge and we became best friends! I WANT TO BE FAMOUS!"

Grabbing onto his collar, I pulled him dangerously close to my face, "TELL ME YOU'RE GOING TO MAKE ME THE MOST FAMOUS PERSON IN THE WORLD DENTON!"

Denton coughed violently, he must be surprised by my new perfume that I sprayed in my mouth! It smells so good! I let go off Denton and he hit the floor, his suitcase and papers flying everywhere. I rolled my eyes and looked at my nails as he hurried to pick everything up, with that he fled the scene. I waved after him,

"Do remember to call the presses!"

I smiled on how the interview gone, by tomorrow I'll be the most famous person in the world and MORE people will adore me. Then they'll probably make me president and I can ban all the stupid rapists and predators from New York City! I want to make a difference! Spot will finally tell everyone about how relationship and the newsies will each name their children after me! How wonderful! Now....time to take a visit to Irving Hall to see how my birthday party is setting up! I skipped out of the lodging house and got a ride from behind a carriage. The person in the back kept trying to whack me with a newspaper and shouting, "Shoo! Mongrel!"

Once we passed Irving Hall, I jumped off and shouted after the carriage, "Thank you for the ride good sirs!"

I pushed past many people who were waiting to get in, I ignored the disgusted and hatred looks of those who were jealous of my beauty. Finally, I made it in. I saw Jack and David watching Medda from the side of the stage, while the other newsies were in the crowd in front of the stage. They're just taking a break from my party! I tip toed behind Jack and started tickling him,

"I FOUND YOU! I WIN!"

Jack turned around and cursed, "Fuck! Davey we'se gotta leave!"

I stopped him from taking another step, pointing my finger to his face, I said sternly, "Now see here Jack Kelly, this game has gone on long enough! I know you are planning my birthday party and just be running away it won't help you because I ALWAYS find you!"

David shot me a confused look, "We aren't planning you're birthday party?"

I threw back a laugh and slapped his cheek lightly, "Oh don't try playing dumb! I AM VERY SMART AND I FIGURED OUT YOU'RE PLAN!"

Jack told David, "Come on Davey, dis goil is crazy!" He grabbed David's arm and they both ran out of Irving Hall, Les following close behind.

Oh those poor guys, they really don't know when to quit don't they? I chuckled as I turned my attention to Medda who was singing. Whatever. I can SO do better than that! And I'm going to show her! I marched onto the stage and pushed Medda out of the way,

"HERE I AM!"

Groans and moans filled the room but I just kept my brilliant smile on my face, "Are you ready for my BETTER singing!"

Mush shouted, "NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!"

Kid Blink came to his aid, "It's okay buddy, you'se ears won't bleed dis time!"

Medda returned onto the stage, giving me a death glare, "And what do you think you are doing honey?"

I snorted in her direction, "Showing you how it's done!"

I pushed past Medda once again and started to let my beautiful voice fill the room, "MARY HAD A LITTLE LAMB, MARY LITTLE LAMB!!!!!!"

Racetrack threw his cigar at my face as Mush started to shriek in pain. I fell backwards, the cigar let a slight burn on my face! No matter! I heal RATHER quickly! Before I even had more time to continue my song, two thugs grabbed me by the arms and picked me up. I tried to escape but they were stronger than I was!

I shouted, "Help!"

Skittery shouted after us, "Beat her up in da alley!"

Racetrack grinned and turned to another newsie, "Five bucks she's down with one punch!"

Oh they're just playing! I bet these thugs are just playing and are going to let me go once outside and laugh about it! They lead me outside and threw me onto the dirty street,

"Go back to the hole you came from!"

The doors slammed shut. I got up and brushed myself off, just wait, the doors will open and they will all welcome me back in! I waited a few minutes, but the doors remained shut. I charged over to the doors and started banging my fists helplessly,

"Let me in guys!"

"Hey girly! Look up!"

My attention was brought up above me, one of the thugs who threw me out had a bucket of water in both hands.

I said to him, "Oh you are so helpful! I am awfully dirty and need to take a bath! Will you please let me in?"

The thug just rolled his eyes and muttered, "Here's your bath loser."

He dumped the bucket of water on me, I was soaked from head to foot! I shook my hair out like a rag doll,

"HEY THAT WAS VERY RUDE! I AM GOING TO CALL THE BULLS ON YOU FOR MISTREATING A LADY!"

But the big man must have not heard me for he went inside, slamming the window where he came from shut.

Suddenly, a rather cute boy wrapped his coat over my shoulder, "I am so sorry dear, that you were treated that way!"

Thank god someone finally understands! I smiled, "Thank you!"

The cute boy lead me over to the sewers, "Now just sit here, on the edge dear and I'll find you a place to stay for the night."

I replied shaking my head, "No thank you! I have a very nice place to stay. It's the lodging----."

I never got to finish my sentence for two other boys ran at me screaming, "Push the creature back in the sewers! Go! Go!"

Six different pairs of hands pushed me into the sewers, I screamed as I tumbled down, landing in the even dirtier water. Above me I heard the boys shouting and cheering. Everyone clapping. Oh I get it! It is now time for me to go on a quest, to kill the beast that lives in the sewer and when I come back, the party will be ready for me!

I whipped out my hairbrush and traveled deeper into the dark sewers, "No one stands a chance!!!!"

A/N: I really hope the 'beast' that lives in the sewers eats Susan. Or maybe she'll fall in a hole and find herself in Wonderland. Who knows. Please review!


	6. What's that lurking over there?

Chapter 6: What's that lurking over there?

--------------------------

I leaned against the dirty sewer walls looking into the even dirtier shallow sewer water.

"I know you're trick monster! Once I'm walking in the water, you will rise and tackle me from behind! Well that is NOT going to work because you don't know who you are dealing with!!!!!!! The beautiful, talented make boys fall on their knees Susan!"

I then proceeded to jump and down on the sewer cement floor, "See. You cannot get me!"

Whipping out my hairbrush once again, I adventured further into the dark creepy tunnel. I heard a noise farther ahead of me. It sounded like a low growl. I jumped back a little bit, this creature thinks he can get the better of me? NEVA! I put on my adorable but tough look, pulled up my high socks and charged towards the sound. SMACK. I came face to face to a wall. The little devil must have put it there while I was adjusting my socks! He thinks he is so clever!

I kicked the wall hard to see if it would fall. But alas it stayed still. I ignored the pain in my toe and turned around, started to run in the other direction. I heard footsteps smack against the cement, the same time mine did! The stupid bastard is copying me! I whipped around and swung at the darkness. Nothing behind me. I returned to my defensive pose and slowly walked further, listening for any footsteps to follow mine. They did!

I screamed, "What are you playing at?!"

I composed myself and jumped into the water, "Fine, since you are too chicken to set foot on the cement, I shall meet your LOW CHILDISH ATTEMPTS to eat me!"

Throwing my arms in the air, my fingers accidently let go of my hairbrush. It went flying into the deep water. I gasped before going on my knees, the water level was to my waist.

"YOU SPREAD BUTTER ON MY HANDS WHILE I WASN'T LOOKING! YOU TOOK AWAY MY WEAPON!"

With that I started to push my head into the water, looking for my hairbrush. However, it was nowhere to be seen. I jumped up and gasped for air. It looks like I'm going to have to use my killer karate skills to beat this enemy.

I threw my fists in the air and said, "Come and get me if you can!"

I smiled as I waited, Spot would be proud of me once he hears of my victory! Denton will put me in the papers along with the interview. I shall become rich and everyone will know my name across the world! The seconds turned into minutes. The creature was a coward! I have defeated him with my powerful choice of words and force!

I screamed through the whole sewer, "HA HA YOU LITTLE BABY!"

I laughed then smirked and started to climb the ladder I found earlier. I shall find those boys that pushed me in and they will carry me to the lodging house where I will be praised for my bravery! I took another step on the slippery ladder. My foot missed and make my whole body go tumbling down. SPLASH. I landed in the dirty water. Everything was becoming black......No! Please!!! I can't die like this! Spot.....Help me! I LOVE YOU! Then everything went black.

-----------------------------------------

Race turned to Mush, "What do you'se think happened ta Susan?"

Mush replied while shoving tissues up his bleeding ears, "Who knows and who cares! I'se might become deaf!"

Race smacked two dollars on the table, making it shake, "I'se bet you she'll be dead by da mornin'!"

Mush examined the two dollar bills almost as if he was checking if they were real. His reply was, "Deal."

They both spit into each other's hands and shook. The deal was done.

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Maggie kissed Spot on the cheek as he was watching the newsies sell papes, "Dat Susan goil. Was she an ex of you'se?"

Spot shot her a look, "Nah, doll face. She's just a board that is obsessed with me."

Maggie snuggled against him trying to keep warm, "Well she betta stop buggin' us or I'se have to beat her ta a pulp."

He raised his eyebrows, "I'se bet you'se won't."

Maggie almost pushed him in the water, "I'se tell ya I'SE WILL!"

Spot turned over to her and picked out two dollars, "I'se bet you'se won't"

Maggie just smirked in reply.

---------------------------------------------

After a long day's of work, Denton sat in his office chair. He sighed and started to flip through his papers. His hands stopped as he was face to face with the scribbles of 'Susan's Interview.' He scanned the page, a smile appearing on his face.

Denton yelled into the other room, "Charlie, start up the machine again! We have another article to put in! It'll be called 'An Interview with a Mental Case!'"

------------------------------------------

I awoke from having a HORRIBLE nightmare! I dreamed that I fell into the sewer and the monster ate me whole! Then there was a funeral and all the newsies were bawling their eyes out! I felt so touched but so bad at the same time! I CAN'T HANDLE THESE EMOTIONS! POOR ME!!!

I then started to cry loudly, not caring who heard.

----------------------------------------------

From above, a little boy was walking by the sewer with a paper airplane. He jumped and cried out in surprise when he heard the loud, "WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" Coming from the sewers. He dropped his airplane, it flew into the sewer opening.

The boy cried, "Mommy! I lost my airplane!"

As he started to run away with tears in his eyes, he heard a voice come from the sewers. He stopped and kneeled down. From the darkness came a horrible creature with wet dirty hair and make up stained face.

"Is this your air plane little boy?"

The boy eyes widen and screamed, "NOOOOOOOOOOO IT'S A CHEAP RIP OFF REENACTMENT [s/p?] OF THE FUTURE MOVIE CALLED 'IT'!!!!"

The boy grabbed the airplane from the ugly clown then pushed her face back into the sewer. He ran away, the clown's cries still echoing behind him.

A/N: Sorry it took so long. Haha. Was it worth waiting for? Please review.


	7. Death? Or is it!

Chapter 7: Death? Or Is it?!

----------------------

I flew back into the water, the stupid paper plane is stuck in my eye! I don't deserve such treatment! I'm the most lovable, caring person in the world! I just know everyone is out looking for me, basically freaking out over the loss of their QUEEN. I yet again, climbed the steps and quickly squeezed out of the sewer opening. I must have looked a right mess, for many people who walked by, would see me and run away screaming! It breaks their heart to see such a beautiful person beaten and broken like that. I shall get JUSTICE!

I rushed over to Tibby's and banged on the glass door, "SOMEONE PLEASE HELP ME!!!"

The people inside looked at me, then as if they didn't see me, went back to eating and chatting happily. The owner of Tibby's came into view, glaring at me, with a hose in his hand. These people are so CRUEL!!!! I DON'T DESERVE SUCH TREATMENT!!!!!!! I ran down the street, screaming at the top of my lungs. However, it was as if no one seemed to hear me, they just hurried along, their noses in their jackets. I even saw a girl puke on her pretty pink dress after running past me. Tears formed into my eyes, everyone loves me...why are they acting this way?! It is because I look like a mess? HOW SHALLOW CAN THESE PEOPLE BE! Once I get cleaned up they will love me again!.... I NEED A BATHROOM!

Every public place I went to, they wouldn't let me in. When I asked why, they simply pointed to the sign, 'No pets allowed.'

I yelled at them stomping my feet, "I don't have a pet! Are you people blind?!!!!"

One owner held a gun against his chest and whispered, "Don't me use this child..."

I crossed my arms, smirking, "You wouldn't dare!"

The crazy store owner jumped up and down, his white lab coat flying around him, "You're RIGHT! I don't have time trying to scare away my dog's friends! I'M GOING TO THE FUTURE!!!!"

Suddenly, a strange carriage zoomed in front of us, out came a boy with a red jacket on, "Doc we gotta go! There's word around the town that there is a beast running around!"

The attractive boy, screamed as he looked at me. I guess I gave him too much of my flirty stares. The boy pushed the old man into the van, "THERE'S THE BEAST! WE GOTTA GO!!!!"

The doors of the strange carriage closed. The carriage drove by me quickly, making my dress fly up to my face. I screamed in embarrassment, now everyone can see my turtle kickers! I backed away quickly trying to get the dress fabric out of my eye's view, I tripped over a curb and landed hard on the sidewalk.

"OUCH!!! WATCH WHERE YOU'SE ARE GOING!"

I finally pushed my dress down and looked up to see I landed on the cook. I stared at her before stating, "Are you hear to tell me that you finished my cake?"

The cook pushed me off her, I landed on the sidewalk again, this time on my bottom.

I shouted, "I AM REPORTING YOU!"

The cook rolled up her pants, "NOT BEFORA I'SE KILL YOU'SE FIRST!!!!"

She backed me against an alley wall, her fists curled into a fighting pose. I stood up straight, putting my tough face on, "If it's a fight you want, it's a fight you will GET!"

My cries of glory and victory could be heard through out the city.

-----------------------------------------

Denton smiled happily at the newspaper. His interview with Susan made front page. This newspaper would be sold through out New York City, where everyone can laugh on how much of a joke Susan is. Denton somehow managed to get a picture of her when she was trying to drag Spot into the bed one night at the Lodging house.

Denton's boss came into view and smacked him on the back, "Denton! You did it this time! The newspaper hasn't made money like this since the newsies strike!"

Denton smiled, clearly pleased by how his boss was praising him.

"Denton, I want you to follow this little rat, take pictures and what not! People are really enjoying laughing at her!!!!"

He did a double take and gasped, "Me sir? Why not.... Andrew?"

Suddenly Andrew popped out of nowhere and yelled, "THERE'S NO WAY I'M GOING TO RISK MY LIFE, FOLLOWING AROUND THAT HUGE DOG/HORSE CREATURE AROUND!!!"

Denton's boss stated, "Denton, this is a mission that can only be completed by you."

"What do I get for this?"

"Your own theme song."

Denton shook his boss's hand firmly, "I'm on the job!"

As Denton left the office in search of the creature, Mission Impossible was playing in the background. Out of the blue, his work office exploded, probably because Andrew forgot to turn off the gas. Denton just kept walking,

"Cool guys don't look at explosions." [credit to thelonelyisland on youtube!!!]

------------------------------------

I found thrown up against the wall millions of times. I struggled and kicked, oh yeah! I'm totally beating his cook's butt! This will teach her not to pick fights with me, and maybe she'll actually start on my cake.

The cook pushed me to the ground and started kicking me in the stomach, I grabbed her leg and started to lick. I WILL NOT FAIL!!!

Maggie asked disgusted, "What are you'se doing!? You'se little bitch!"

I let go and gasped, staring up at her, "What in the h-e double hockey sticks did you call me?!"

Maggie pulled me up and threw me into a trash can, "Neva bother me and my BOYFRIEND AGAIN!!!"

With that she trudged off, trying to get off all my saliva on her leg. I laughed. Only I know that my salvia is highly deadly. Soon she will get a rash that covers her whole body and then little green aliens will burst out of her stomach and kill her! VICTORY IS MINEEEEE! After many tries of getting out of the trash can, I simply pushed it over and I came stumbling out. The cook got chilli all over my dress! A banana peel was rested on top of my head. Just wait till the newsies hear what happened! Spot will get rid of the cook and ask for my forgiveness. That reminds me! I should go over to Brooklyn now and surprise my Spotty poo!

I journeyed all the way to the Brooklyn bridge. Leaning against the bar, I looked down, making my banana peel fly off and land on a bird's back. The bird freaked out and started falling! I screamed when it landed in my hair, the bird started flashing around, it's death grip on my poor hair! I ran around screaming,

"GET IT OFF ME!!!!!"

Clumps of my beautiful hair floated down the Brooklyn Bridge. I jumped on the bar and yelled, "NO COME BACK!!!"

Suddenly behind me, a flash of a camera went off. I spun around, ALMOST losing my balance on the bar. There was Denton, in a full lab suit, taking pictures of me! I started posing as quickly as I could. I'm going to be a famous model after these pictures are leaked out to the world!

Denton yelled, "Move backwards a little bit!"

I obeyed, I don't want to disappoint my fans. I stepped back, only not to feel the bar. I felt nothing. I looked down to see me standing on thin air. Denton cursed loudly and ran away, singing Mission Impossible on the top of his lungs. I floated there for a few minutes. I CAN FLY! I'M MAGICC!!!! The bird that was stuck in my hair, finally got free, however not before leaving his business in what's left of my hair! I screamed trying to get poo out, when I suddenly felt myself falling! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO MY POWERS ARE GROWING WEAK!!!!!

I screamed as I was about to land into the water, "I NEED PROACTIVE QUICK!!!!!"

A little girl on the bridge was watching me fall with amusement, "But it doesn't exist yet!"

Then everything went blurry.

------------------------------------

Race smacked another two dollar bill on the table, "I'se bet ya she was shot in Brooklyn for tryin ta rape Spot."

Mush replied quickly, "I'se bet someone pushed her off da Brooklyn bridge!"

Crutchy joined in, "I'se bet ya fellas that the monster in the sewer got her!.."

Les shivered, "There's a monster?!"

David shook his head, "No Les, there's no monster."

Suddenly, Denton ran in, "I GOT THE PICTURE!!!"

Jack asked, "What pictura?"

Denton smacked down the picture in response and everyone gathered around it to see. There in the photo was Susan, her dress was torn and dirtied with sewer water and chilli. Her hair was a bird's nest and shown a poor bird thrashing around it in. In some places, she was going bald. She was trying to pull of a super model pose, her finger was in her mouth, she was smiling strangely and her eyes were closed.

Les screamed, "SEWER MONSTER!!!'

He ran out of the theater.

David sighed, "Great. First he's afraid of clowns, now it's the dirty sewer monster."

Bumlets replied to David's comment, "At least it's not my deceased zombie mother."

Les screamed from outside, "AHHHHHHHHHHHHH IT'S BUMLETS DECEASED ZOMBIE MOTHER!!!"

Outside they heard moans and cries of the undead. Bumlets whined, "Again?!!!"

A/N: No comment.... I amazed myself on how much random..ness I put in one chapter. Is Susan dead? Please review!!!!


	8. Many Surprise Guests

Chapter 8: Many Surprise Guests

-----------------------

No one's POV:

"Professor.... what do you think that thing is...?"

A gruff voiced replied darkly, "It's the creature of the sea...the one I have been hunting for years...it killed my wife and children while I was on the john."

Gilligan scratched his head confused, "Gee.....Professor? You didn't have a wife....or children."

Professor quickly started poking the sea creature with a stick, "Exactly..."

"Exactly...what?"

The professor snapped suddenly, "It was made up for suspense.... Gilligan...god....get with the program."

"Gee....I really don't think we're in Moby Dick sir."

The professor looked up slightly amused, "What does Moby Dick have to do with anything?"

Gilligan explained smartly, "Well, it's about a captain trying to kill a powerful whale.... do you think this creature is the cousin of the whale?"

Professor peered down at the ugly creature, "No...something much worse. It may be the spawn of the devil!"

Both the Professor and Gilligan looked down at the wet animal in complete horror. They were pretty sure the creature is female, looking for a mate. The creature's hair was falling out, and for some ODD reason, it was wearing a dress.

Gilligan pointed down at the mess that was plastered all over her dress, "What do you think that is, Professor?"

He simply replied after taking a picture, "It's own waste...."

"Ew......!"

Suddenly, the creature's eyes snapped open. It gasped for breath many times, then got up, to the Professor's dismay. The creature's eyes were red and makeup was leaking down her face. She stared at the two shivering men, this creature....was truly terrible.

The creature finally spoke in a raspy voice, "Hello! I'M SUSAN!"

Gilligan screamed like a girl, "Oh no!!!!!!! It's a Susan!!!!!"

The Professor grabbed onto Gilligan's red sweater, "It IS the spawn of the Devil! MAKE A RUN FOR IT!!!!"

Susan yelled after the two men, who were running away quite quickly, "HEY! COME BACK!!! I NEED HELP!!!!"

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Susan's POV:

I huffed stubbornly and grabbed onto the side of the Brooklyn bridge. I didn't die!!!!!! I AM IMMORTAL! I started to climb up the Brooklyn bridge, I was about to pull myself up and land roughly on the pavement when someone else did it for me. They grabbed onto my hand and hauled me over. SPOT?! My beautiful face frowned in disappointment when I saw it wasn't Spot. It was just a man with golden brown hair and matching eyes. His pale was dangerously pale. Oh no!!!!!!!!! It's the evil villain from my dreams! HE REALLY IS REAL!!!! Now he is going to have his way with me, trap me into a tower and I'll live there the rest of my life.......HE'S GOING TO PLACE A CURSE ON ME!!!! NOO!!!! HE'S GOING TO MAKE ME UGLY!!!!!!!

The man rolled his eyes, "No. I am not going to kidnap you and rape you."

I gasped in surprise, "How did you know I was thinking that?"

The man whispered, "That's because I am a vampire."

I smiled widely and yelled, "YOU CAME AND SAVED ME BECAUSE MY BLOOD SMELLS YUMMY TO YOU?!!!!"

The vampire frowned deeply, "Uh. NO. Sorry, my dead heart already belongs to a human. My name is Edward Cullen."

I scowled, "Who is this HUMAN? I'll rip her to shreds and then you'll be MINE!"

Edward growled, "I probably shouldn't have pulled you up....you're just another one of those fangirls."

What is this fangirl? Is it some kind of goddess that everyone loves however can never have? Well, that MUST be me! Everyone loves me but I only have a heart for one SPOT! And, once he hears I have cheated on him with this Edward Cullen fellow, he'll get jealous and try to win me back! It's SO much like Romeo and Juliet!

Edward titled his head to the side, "Actually...no that is nothing like Romeo and Juliet. Have you read the book or seen the play?"

I huffed, "Hmph! Who needs to read when you are this breathtakingly beautiful!?"

I started making gestures to my face, puckering my lips. Edward turned away a little bit.

"You smell horrible."

I advanced towards him, giving my famous smirk, "You're just playing hard to get..."

Edward pushed my away, "Actually no. I'm not!"

My smirk widened, I can tell he can't resist me. I can feel him starting to panic under my gaze. Edward suddenly pointed in the other direction, "LOOK! Is that Orlando Bloom?"

I spun around faster than a pancake can stick on a wall, "WHERE!!!!!!!!!!!??????"

My eyes searched around wildly, looking for that eye candy. However, he WASN'T there! I huffed before turning around again, EXPECTING to see Edward, however the spot was empty. I crossed my arms and rolled my eyes, what is with these boys? The most important thing in their lives is right in front of them but they just run away! No one takes the time to admire pure beauty anymore... WAIT! That reminds me! I need to go find Spot, because he probably missing me right now! With that, I skipped further into Brooklyn.

--------------------------------------------

Denton quickly grabbed his brief case and brushed past all the yelling people who were running away from Bumlet's old zombie mother. He must find Susan again! His boss said if he doesn't find her soon, he'll be fired and then he'd have to live on the streets like a hobo! Did you know hobos can't afford cable!???!?? [credit to: ICarly] He pondered a moment, wait a got darn second! Cable doesn't even exist yet!

Denton yelled excited, "I THINK I SAW INTO THE FUTURE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Out of the blue, a man with a curly mustache and a brown plaid hat on appeared at his side, "To the future you say?"

Denton jumped a little before replying, "Yes....and who are you?"

The man with the mustache replied cooly, "My name is unimportant at the---."

However, he was cut off by another man. He didn't have a freakishly cool mustache like the other guy, however, he was wearing a really spiffy and elegant suit.

The man piped up, "This is Sherlock Holmes!"

Sherlock Holmes gasped and hit the other man over the head, "WATSON! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?!!!!"

Watson yelled back, "The man asked for your name!" He smacked Sherlock back, and not soon afterwards, it became a full blown out slap fight. Denton stared at the both men, slowly edging away. Welllllllllll THAT was awkward.

---------------------------------------

I ran onto the docks getting glares from Spot's newsies. Oh! They're just jealous of BOTH me and Spot. Some are completely in love with me....and others are pretty gay for Spot. LET ME GET THIS QUITE CLEAR, SPOT IS NOT GAY. HE IS STRAIGHT AND IN LOVE WITH ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am tired of hearing the rumors that Race and Spot have 'relations' deep into the night. They were probably made by the jealous girls in new york, trying to break Spot and I apart. I finally spotted...SPOT sitting down, whacking his boys with his cane mockingly.

I used my adorable yet sexy voice, "OH SPOTTTTTTY! YOUR LOVE HAS ARRIVED!!!!!"

Spot froze and slowly turned around, his eyes blazed with anger. Oh, I know he hates it when I call in Spotty in public, but I can't help it! IT'S JUST SOOOOOOOOOO CUTE!!!!!!

He said annoyed, "What do you'se want."

I laughed loudly, wrapping my arms around his neck, getting EVERYONE'S attention, "Spot, I wanted to see you! Did you miss me?"

He pushed me off of him and shouted, "NO!!! FORE DA LAST TIME NO!!!!!! YOU'SE FREAKIN CRAZY!!!!"

I whimpered slightly, trying to make him feel bad at yelling at me, he totally wants to cuddle me right now!, "But Spot!"

He screamed, "NO!!!!!"

I laughed again and thrown myself on him again. He struggled, however my STRENGTH was too much for him. I pressed my lips to his, forcing his mouth open and letting him play with my tongue. He started to gag and cough loudly in my mouth. He never tasted such sweet bliss before! I pushed my hands under his shirt, my SLENDER fingers in contact with his skin, made him shiver uncontrollably. Suddenly, I felt a flash go off and Denton yelling, "CREATURE RAPES POOR NEWSBOY!!!!"

I jumped up, how dare he interrupt the best moment of Spot's life. I'M NOT EVEN THAT SELFISH!!! I balled my fist, that's it! HE'S GOING DOWNNN! I SCREAMED LOUDLY AND CHARGED TOWARDS DENTON LIKE AN ANGRY MOTHER BEAR! Denton screamed and started running as fast as he could. HA! That's not going to help you!!!!!!!!

Denton started singing Mission Impossible, I kept running after him. Behind me, I sensed two people running after ME! I glanced back and saw a tall lean boy with a green shirt on and a brown dog with black spots all over him.

The boy yelled, "Yikes Scoob! It's the monster!!!!!!"

Suddenly, I was pushed to the ground, a boy with blonde hair and red bandana was sitting on top of me. He shouted, "GUYS UNMASK THE MONSTER!!!!!"

Scooby barked, "RO RO RO!" [go go go?]

The boy with the green shirt on grabbed onto my face and started pulling it. I screamed in horror! They're trying to take away my beauty and put it on some one COMPLETELY UGLY!!!!!! It's like rape!!!!!

Denton appeared at the boy's side, suddenly gaining an elderly western accent, "You rotten kids!!!!"

Spot appeared also, giving the boy with the red bandana his cane, "Here, you'se can use this." He was smirking wide. NOOOOOOOOOOO!!! SPOT HAS BETRAYED MEEEEEE!

A pale man with blonde hair that was tied down in a pony tail flew out of no where, he whispered grinning, "Go for the throat.....go for the throat!!!!"

I screamed in horror as I was being attacked by many characters. I twisted and turned, struggling against all the weight. WHY DOES LIFE HATE ME SO MUCH! IS IT BECAUSE GOD MADE ME EVEN MORE BEAUTIFUL THAN ITSELF!!? The vampire with the blonde hair was about to sink his teeth into my skin, when he was suddenly shot. He flew back, landing on the hard wooden dock.

There was a gasp and yell, "WATSON!!!! WHAT HAVE YOU DONEEEEEE!!!!?!!!!"

A/N: Hello, it would be very nice if you could review. More chapters up soon!


	9. PUNK'D In 1899

Chapter 9: PUNK'D In 1899

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

I awoke to absolute silence. Struggling to get up, I realized I was still on the docks, however there was no one in sight. Did they all go to the hospital to get help? For now, my tough interior is going to break and I'm going to sob uncontrollably on how I don't deserve this and how unfair life is.

A man with a top hat walked by me, I shouted, "Please! Help me!"

The man stopped, and looked down at me awkwardly, "Yes, what is it you want?"

Whimpering slightly, I pulled off my 'I'm just a poor girl act' perfectly, "Please...help me. Everyone has left me."

The man huffed loudly and pulled out something from his pocket. Is it money? ONE MILLION DOLLARS? I'll then be able to get noticed for my acting skills and I'll move out of New York, completely forgetting about the newsies and Spot. Serves them right! They need me in their life! Maybe they'll realize that if I go away for awhile.

Whatever the man pulled out of his pocket, he didn't give to me. Oh no! Is it a 1899 fashioned condom that he is going to use while having his way with me? Darn it! It's so painful being beautiful! The man rested the small object on his shoulder then proceeded to put out another thing from his pocket. Is it duct tape to put over my mouth so no one can hear my screams?

As if Disney magic, (Disney created Newsies! How ironic.), a soft violin melody started to fill the air.

"Here's the world's smallest violin playing for you and your time of need."

I cuffed my hands together romantically, "Are you trying to express your feelings for me, stranger?"

The man pulled off his top hat, completely revealing his face. He was wearing the most unusual glasses. They were huge and white, the lenses a deep purple.

He replied childishly, "No....but would you like some gum? It's like a full course meal!"

Jumping up, I greedily snatched the gum from his hand and shoved it between my soft pink lips. I kept chewing, the flavor changed every five seconds.

I exclaimed, "It taste like roast beef! Now potato! OH MY GOD! Is that blue berry?"

The man smirked slightly but warned, "I think you may want to spit it out now....there's still some side effects!"

Pish Posh. I ignored him and kept chewing my mouth off. The taste is incredible! Maybe if I mug this man, I'll get more of this gum, I can sell it and everyone will love me! I'll be the hero of New York for giving them such a tasty substance. Suddenly, I felt my chilli stained dress rip slightly.

I gasped, "Noooo! My hips are getting curvier!"

The mystery man piped up, "Not just your hips.."

Looking down, I saw that the man was right! My whole body was bloating up and turing purple....!

"HELP! I'M TURNING PURPLE!!!!!"

As my dress started to tear even more, I cried in embarrassment, bad things happen to such beautiful girls!

The man tipped his hat, "No, I believe you are turning violet, violet!"

I was now fully the size of a blue berry, I yelled panicking, "My name isn't Violet!

The man shrugged, and whistled, "We're just going to have to stretch you out..."

STRECH ME OUT!? What does that mean?!!!!!!!!! My temple of a body is getting attacked here and all he is thinking about is stretching me? The PERV!!!!

"THERE'S NO WAY YOU'RE TOUCHING ME AFTER YOU TURNED ME INTO A FAT BLUBBERING MONSTER!"

The man cheerfully said, "You were always a monster!"

First he does this to me, tries to have his way with me and NOW he insults me?! He belongs in jail!

Before I could start calling out for the police, the man pushed me slightly, making me bounce up and down all the way to the Brooklyn Bridge. As I was rolling down the bridge, I felt my huge body flatten something under me.

David appeared out of nowhere, "You killed Les! You Hob knocker! " (look it up)

Jack asked confused, "Isn't that illegal?"

I ignored the two boys and kept screaming for my dear life. Is this how I'm going to die? I'm a virgin! I can't die a virgin! Abruptly, I stopped. In front of me was a boyish looking man, wearing a red cap and laughing insanely. Other people with huge black boxes appeared beside him, practically shoving the black box like thing into my face.

The stranger with the red cap stated, "Say hello to the camera because you just got PUNK'D!"

"NOOOOOOOOO!"

_The t.v screen exploded with credits. The background image was the blue berry Susan screaming into the camera basically blowing out everyone's ear drums. _

_Once the credits ended, huge words blared on the screen: _

_A SPECIAL THANKS TO SUSAN ADDAMS AKA THE ORIGINAL LOCH NESS MONSTER FOR LETTING US PUNK HER! _

Irving hall exploded with laughter. Many newsies clapped while others were rolling around on the floor holding their stomaches, complaining about their aching guts.

Crutchy yelled, "Hey Denton! Thanks for buying us this black and white television!"

"Anytime boys...anytime."

_A/N: Okay, now Susan finally realizes that she's a monster! And it only took Willy Wonka to give her some gum. What will happen next? Stay tuned and please review! PS: Last chapter, I got a FLAMMER review, they called this story ridiculous and didn't understand why ANYONE in their right mind would read this story. I would just like to thank them, for this is a Mary Sue Parody! It's suppose to be ridiculous and stupid! Now I know I'm doing my job! Thank you Mr/Miss Flammer! Now my fellow readers, I leave you. I promise I'll update soon! _


	10. Jiminy Cricket IS GOD!

Chapter 10: Jiminy Cricket IS GOD!

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I'm SO UGLY! I can't believe that insanely attractive man gave me such wicked magic! Now no one will love me! Spot will see right through and me go off this that cook chick! There's no way out now...I must kill myself. Dramatic drum roll please! (cricket. cricket)

"I SAID DRAMATIC DRUM ROLL!"

Suddenly, I saw a tiny spec jump onto my left now purple and chubby shoulder. Turning my veiny violet neck, I yelped when I saw the spec was a cricket. I'M AFRAID OF BUGS! Cue the screaming.

All that came out of my large throat was, "SOMEONE HELP MEEEEEEEE ANYONE!"

The cricket shook his head sadly before taking off his top hat, "You know, screaming won't get you anywhere..."

I froze when I realized the nasty insect actually spoke! "Great, I'm going crazy too!"

"I'm pretty sure you were already crazy beforehand dear." The cricket tapped my left ear with his small cane. Did a CRICKET just BURN me? How do I even know what burn means?

I clenched my teeth angrily, "I don't need back talk from a cricket!"

Again, the cricket shook his head disapprovingly as if he was my mother. WAHHHH! MY MOTHER IS DEAD! I started to tear up and pout a little, but the cricket was one step ahead of me,

"Oh stop it. You're not allowed to be emo here! It's 1899!"

I glared, "What makes you so high and mighty?"

The cricket smiled pleasantly before bowing, "Well, I am Jiminy Cricket. I'm like God but only smaller and more terrifying."

Like I believe in God anyway! There is no God! If there was, then he wouldn't have taken away my parents! Then I would be happy and not some huge blue berry!

Jiminy sighed and climbed up my head, "Will you stop feeling sorry about yourself? Think about all the other people who have to deal with you. You should feel pity for them!"

I mumbled, "You know, for God, you're not very nice."

"I just speak the truth. No matter how much it hurts." Jiminy sat indian styled on my head.

I smirked smugly, "Okay, if you must speak the truth all the time, do you think I'm pretty?"

"No."

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN NO?"

"Like I said. No. You're FUGLY!"

Tears started to leak out of my eyes, (hey what do you know, they're purple too!), "I don't even know what FUGLY is and I feel threatened."

A man behind me snorted, "You should be."

Hey! I may take insults from a talking cricket, but I will NOT stand for verbal abuse from a stranger! Struggling to hop around, I shouted, "Show yourself you fiend!"

"Alright alright...keep your dress on. Really, KEEP IT ON!"

My sudden attacker decided to make his appearance. What I saw, I didn't expect. There in front of me was probably the most beautiful man on the planet. Whose this Spot you speak of? I don't know a Spot. THIS STRANGER WAS FRIZZLE MY DIZZLE HOT!

Jiminy muttered above me, "Here we go...she's gonna make a pancake of herself...."

The hot stranger was wearing a semi long leather jacket, ripped jeans and some brown boots. His hair was brown and spiky, his eyes were an emerald green. SO MUCH BETTER THAN MR. BLUE EYED BROOKLYN!

My future husband stared up at me, his amazing hands in his even more amazing pockets, "Were you born that way or somethin'?"

I winked flirtatiously, "If you want me to be."

"Dude. No chick flick moments."

I pouted, "But I am this CHICK!"

The stranger snorted yet again before pacing around me, (probably checking me out), "Could have fooled me." He then turned around and shouted to another equally hot man in the distance, "What do you say Sammy? Should we shoot it?"

SHOOT WHAT?!

Jiminy replied, "You dummy."

"How did you hear that?"

"I'm God. I can read minds too."

Oh, that explains it. OKAY WAIT WHAT?! MY FUTURE HUSBAND IS GOING TO SHOOT ME? HOW COULD HE? HE DIDN'T EVEN TAKE ME OUT ON A FIRST DATE! Shooting is definitely third base!

The taller and equally hot guy walked over, confusion all of his handsome face, "Uh---I'm not sure. Maybe a demon is possessing it?"

Jiminy whispered, "I wish that was the case.." UGH SHUT UP SLIMEY INSECT!

"I'm not slimey."

My future husband pulled out a gun from his leather jacket, "Let's just shoot the mother yucker and get out of here."

"Yucker?" A new voice asked.

Sammy jumped slightly when a man in a trench coat appeared by his side, "Damn Castiel! Don't do that to me!"

My future husband lowered his gun and stared at this Castiel longingly, "Yeah, Cas. What the hell are you doing here anyway?"

Castiel completely ignored Sammy and I, walking up to my future husband, "I came here to get you Dean."

Dean? So THATS his name. It's delicious. LIKE APPLE PIE! Casitel snapped his fingers and apple pie magically appeared on a paper plate.

Dean shouted with joy and grabbed the plate, "Yum!"

Castiel rested his hand on Dean's manly cheek, "I came to get you, so we can skip off into the sunset and eat pie."

Sammy raised his eyebrows, "Dean? You and Cas are gay?"

Dean nodded his head before glaring, "Yes, we have been for some time. AND DON'T CALL HIM CAS! IT'S MY THING!"

WAIT! MY FUTURE HUSBAND IS GAY?! Eh...I can work with that.

Castiel spun around over to me, "You will not steal my Dean in the power of Christ." I felt my chubby purple body begin to move on its own.

Jiminy squealed, "Welllll, it's time for all old cricket God to get out of here. Susan...I have NICE life!" With that he disappeared out of thin air.

Sam and Dean watched as Castiel raised hand and walk over to me. I screamed bloody murder. I DON'T WANT TO GET HAND RAPED!

Castiel put his finger to his thin lips, "Shush...It's time to wake up now..."

I shouted, "WHAT DO YOU MEAN---." Before I could finish my sentence, Castiel placed his hand on my forehead and everything went black.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

"LOOK AT ME, I'M THE KING OF NEW YORK! SUDDENLY, I'M RESPECTABLE, STARIN' RIGHT AT CHYA, LOUSY WITH STATURE!"

I groaned and rose from my creaky bed. Dammit Newsies alarm clock...why must you always wake me up at the worst moment? I stared into my small mirror, dark circles surrounded my blue eyes. I must have fallen asleep when I was writing my newsies fic.

Just as I predicted, my laptop was on my desk, the screen still blaring. Deciding to keep going, I settled myself in the dark brown wooden seat.

What a strange dream I had last night...man....Susan was SUCH a MARY SUE. I'm glad my brain decided to torture her. I stared at my word document, suddenly, the words 'MARY SUE' was written all over it. I almost puked in disgust. That will NOT do! Wow, I almost sounded like Susan...ha...chuckle chuckle.

Wrinkling my nose, I deleted the whole word document. I must start new. A story FREE of mary sues. Suddenly, an idea popped into my head as if a light bulb went on. My fingers started to type quickly as my brain passed down the information to them. My new fanfic will be about a newsie named Shadow, hair color a brownish blonde. Her purple eyes will shine with trouble and she's secretly in love with our dear Bumlets. Her height is average so she can stand up to HUGE people.

Most importantly, the story will consist of Shadow beating the SHIT out of Mary Sues. Like, how any newsies story should be.

END.

A/N: Happy Halloween! I hope you all have a good one! I dressed up as Michael Jackson! Reviews is like virtual candy! Trick or review! Wow, I'm lame =D.


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